my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
