I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
