I want you more than these girls want KFC
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
They have beer where we have blood.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize