Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
