she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
