weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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