she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
That accounts for only three of the penises
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
