i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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