just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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