And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
