We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
