if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize