Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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