Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Dick very happy bro
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize