I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The power of my boobs compel you
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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