how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you win again, gameday.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
