They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
