You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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