apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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