My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
