Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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