I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
