It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
