My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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