Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
