So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
