there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
