Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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