I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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