you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize