i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
