I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize