Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
