So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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