Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He has the fingertips of a God
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