where does the pee come out of this thing
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
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we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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