the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
