gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Randomize
