She said her name was "party"
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
