mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
