there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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