Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Randomize
