Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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