Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
