He is an equal opportunity slut.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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