I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
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There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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