Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
