The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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