When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
