he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I think I sprained my soul last night
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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