I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
