She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
