I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You need a sexual gate keeper
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
