i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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