What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he puts the penis in happiness.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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